Growth

Michael has been gone for nearly a year. The last of the "milestone" dates is coming up on April 11. But this one seems easy.

Why?

Thanks to a lot of counseling, work, friendships, activities outside the home, I've managed to build a good foundation for the rest of my life. I've discovered it's time to move on, take care of myself with a firm grip on what happened in the past. I cannot change the past, but I sure have learned from it.

I'm strong.

Perhaps I always was strong. However, that strength was usually spent on others whilst ignoring myself.

I've also recognized it's OK to take time off from the every day stuff, to feel down every now and then is understandable. The important thing to remember is to be kind to myself. Cutting myself some slack.

So, I've learned a lot the past eleven months. I've allowed myself to mourn too. I don't mean to give anybody the impression that I don't miss Michael at all. I do. I miss the healthy, happy go lucky Michael. But, he disappeared years ago.

Actually, this has been quite a liberating experience. I'm still Mom,, but for the first time in 25 years, my days are not consumed with someone else first. Believe it or not, it took some getting over the guilt trip I placed on myself.

Excuse me for a while. I'm going to sew since that is what I want to do

Love ya,
Cathy

Short of the Goal

My goal for the month of February was to completely finish five quilts.

Well..... I completed three - the Betty Boop, Pampered Pooches and Ten Minute Blocks. The other two are pieced and laying on the frame- a baby quilt and a 1600 quilt.

I sort of got side-tracked.

My twin nephews are graduating this spring and I struggled with finding the "right" quilt pattern for them. Finally found a wonderful pattern on the internet - an Ohio State pattern made from five inch log cabin squares. So, I started that last week. I e-mailed the designer and she's working on a pattern for Bowling Green which should be ready in a couple of weeks. Obviously, those are my nephews' college choices.

It's going to be an extremely busy weekend. There's a quilt show in Lebanon which I may attend. I've gone in years past, but had to skip it last year. I'm meeting a friend for dinner on Saturday night. After dinner, she and I are going to a concert at church. The widows/widowers group at church is having their quarterly meeting on Sunday afternoon - I'm supposed to bring a dessert. In between all that, the regular weekend activities and some quilting.

What I'm looking forward to the most? Sleeping in on Saturday morning.

Love ya,
Cathy

Relations With England

Last week when I chatted with Martin, I mentioned I'd like to hear from Michael's children more often. "Do you contact then?" he asked. No, I've been very remiss about that. I sent a lengthy e-mail to Leah, Michael's oldest daughter that night.

Got a lovely response yesterday. Leah has re-married and is expecting a baby on July 3. She and her husband sleep every night under the quilt I made for her several years ago and they adore it. Each of Michael's children, she reported, think of me often and lovingly refer to me as their step-mum. When they get together as a family, they ask who has heard from me and they share their news.

All of this made me happy. I was beginning to think the four siblings had basically "written me out"of their lives. Not true. If I'm to hear from them more often, they have to hear from me.

I asked Leah if there was anything I could do for her or the other three. She replied she really would like some of my pumpkin muffins.

Sounds like a baked care package is in the cards. And another baby quilt.

Love ya,
Cathy

Tag Team Quilting

We had our church quilt club meeting last night - project was to create rail blocks and nine patch blocks for a king-sized quilt for our pastor and his wife who are retiring after years of service to our congregation. We're not certain when they will retire; it depends on how the search goes for a new senior minister. Best to get the quilt ready for when the time comes.

Everybody in our club was instructed to bring either a tan fat quarter or a dark brown fat quarter. Half of the attendees brought their sewing machines. The other half brought their rotary cutters, mats and irons. The gals cutting the fabric ran the strips to the sewers, picked up the finished squares and pressed them. Us sewers were told how each block was to be constructed and to stick to a firm 1/4 inch seam.

Granted it was mayhem at times and some strips were unusable either because they were cut incorrectly or the seams were off, but within the hour all the blocks were done. And it was fun!

Next month, we're going to put all the blocks together and decide on quilting and binding.

In April, we're each to bring one jelly roll to class for a secret project. However, I KNOW it's a 1600 quilt, shhhhhhhhh, don't tell anybody. We're going to have a race with prizes. Sounds like more fun to me!

Love ya,
Cathy

Mid February Report

We're a bit beyond the mid-point of the month and it's looking real good to reach my goal of five projects finished by February 29. The Betty Boop quilt has been delivered. Pampered Pooches and the 10-Minute Blocks quilts are in the binding stage. The 1600 quilt is ready to be loaded onto the frame. I'm hoping to get the baby girl quilt at least pieced this weekend.

I really need to get my camera back from my daughter so I can take photos of all these items and post them here.

Bought myself some flowers to brighten up the kitchen on Valentine's Day. It never dawned on me that Andrea would purchase some as well as a present. We have two lovely bouquets in the kitchen at the moment. Andrea was far too generous to me for Valentine's Day - a gift bag of body lotion, candy, a necklace, a card and the flowers. Don't doubt for a minute how much my darling girl loves me.

My counseling appointment for tonight was cancelled. Not too bothered about it since I really don't have much to discuss tonight. I usually get more out of it if I have something specific to talk about and plan ahead of time. Things have been going pretty well for me emotionally this week. It's odd how some days/weeks are better than others. I still find it difficult to get out of bed every morning when the alarm goes off. This does create some problems since I am late for work at times. Is it any wonder I crave my sleep-in Saturdays?

I've been following the posts from Judy L's sewing retreat. It seems like decades since I've attended a retreat and that's not right since I enjoy getting away for a weekend of constant sewing, gabbing, eating, etc. Can anyone suggest a good retreat? My guild offers them, but I think the next one is booked solid. I went to the retreat Jill's sorority sponsored - not sure they even host that anymore. That retreat was such fun since a lot of "peeps" attended.

I'll leave you all with a big ol' TGIF!

Love ya,
Cathy

Easy Weekend

This past weekend was one of the more enjoyable ones for me. I stayed home all day Saturday. Got up when I felt like I was rested at 9 am, fixed a nice breakfast, did my daily computer stuff and stayed in my jammies until 11.

Sewing was fun - finished the borders for the ten minute block quilt and the 1600 quilt. They're both draped on the frame, waiting for me to figure out how I want to quilt both of them.

Other than church,a trip to Joann's and Kroger's, I stayed home on Sunday.

Andrea returned home safe and sound from her trip to Florida. Her first comment? "The house is so clean!". Wow! How nice to hear that from her. She's happy to be home and doesn't return to work until tomorrow.

Danny phoned me on Sunday afternoon and had a rather strange request. He wants me to make kilts for him and two buddies for their St. Patrick's day festivities. Anybody out there know how to do that? We're talking real easy here folks, I don't want to put a lot of time or effort into this.

Saturday also marked ten months since Michael's death. Amazingly, I was really at peace that day. I was in the sewing room (former train room ) a lot. Maybe it's because Michael spent so much time in that room, but I feel so happy when I'm there. At one point, I looked out the window and felt so happy. No particular reason why. Suppose I shouldn't try to analyze why and just go with the feeling. At this stage, I'll settle for being peaceful.

I'll work on the joyful bit.

Love ya,
Cathy

Dodging the Snow

We're supposed to get the biggest snowfall of the winter between tonight and tomorrow. If it's timed the way the weather guessers claim, the roads will still be just wet during evening rush hour. But, being the big snow chicken that I am, I'm headed to the grocery store at lunch time to get a few essentials - one of which is cat chow. Once I've had my counseling session tonight, that's it for my travels until Sunday morning.

Ah, a whole day in the house with loads of sewing to finish. Won't be spending my entire day in the sewing room - there's still laundry to do, cleaning, dogs to walk, and perhaps a decent movie or two to watch on television. I quilted the Pampered Pooches kit last night and got the binding attached - great to work on binding whilst watching a decent film.

Andrea returns home on Sunday afternoon. She phoned last night and sounded a lot more chipper, but she's still anxious to return home.

One of the tasks which Andrea instructed me to do whilst she's gone: make sure her snake has water. Danny, fortunately, took care of that for me on Sunday and Monday. Last night I had trouble latching the lid on top of the snake's enclosure. I had visions of that ball python escaping and crawling all over the house. EW! Finally figured out the latch. Done! In reality, Andrea said, that snake would probably never, ever leave the enclosure. He's a baby, she reported, and hides under his rock all the time. Well, he's not a very pretty baby.

Love ya,
Cathy