My Time

Spent between caring for a dying husband and a daughter recovering from an eating disorder, my time is very precious.

My weekend was partially consumed with shopping with Andrea, which at first I felt guilty about. But, when you think about it, it is something she greatly enjoys and gives her happiness. In a way, it is helping her to return to being healthy and feeling "normal". She's turning into quite the clothes/shoes consumer, let me tell you. AND, she knows how to spot a bargain. We each bought at least two new outfits for my cousin's wedding and rehearsal dinner the first weekend in November. (Our plane tickets are also purchased for that event, really looking forward to it!)

Michael had a melt-down on Saturday night. He insisted on cutting his own hair and trimming his beard, which he has done for decades. Something which once came so easily is now a life-threatening effort. He cried for an hour about losing life bit by bit. He wants to die and who can blame him? When I phoned the house this morning, he was of the same mind-set and begged me to phone his hospice volunteer and cancel for this afternoon. I refused to do it, stating it may make him feel better. He tends to perk up when there are other folks around, as if to impress them and be a bit of a performer. And you know what, I was right! He sounded a lot better this afternoon. I phoned his hospice nurse who is going to have the respiratory therapist stop at the house. We're also going to set up visits from home health care aides from now on. It's time.

I read an ad in the weekly paper about an organization called Mason Serves which helps with work around the house. I phoned them this morning and we may ask them to do some of the chores in the yard which Danny unfortunately didn't have the time to get to this summer. I've never had to ask for help with my home, so making that phone call this morning made me swallow my pride a bit. But there are things I cannot do - such as the big logs in the middle of the yard, the well cover on the foundation window, etc. Things which Michael could have done three years ago.....

Me? I did a bit of quilting on the frame. My goal is to get the current project on the frame quilted by this time next week, so that will give me plenty of time for the hand sewing on the binding. There's a quilters' meeting at church tonight I've love to attend, but things being what they are with Michael, I may skip it. Depends on how he and Andrea are doing.

Andrea is supposed to transition back to school this week. Please keep her in your prayers. She's quite anxious about returning.

And while you're at it, remember me in your prayers. At times I feel like my foundation is cracking, but then I remember how many of you, my co-workers, Sunday School classmates, family are praying for me. Just that thought envelopes me in a warm feeling, like God is wrapping a very soft quilt across my shoulders. It's then that I don't feel so alone.

Love ya,
Cathy