October Up-Date

Dear Folks,
It's almost gotten to the point where I don't want to post any longer because the news gets progressively worse with both Michael and Andrea.

Andrea experienced a set-back in her dealings with purging and cutting. I took her back to the Lindner Center of Hope on Thursday night and they kept her overnight. She's now in the out-patient program there - who knows for how long. I suppose that depends on my insurance and what they're willing to pay for. She's adamant that she's fat at 119 pounds (5'4") and NOBODY is going to convince her otherwise. She's hiding her food on the tray at the center and I will have to point that out to the nutritionist. The cutting? I think she does it to handle stress. But I cannot for the life of me understand why she has such a low opinion of herself. I wept a lot the last few days.

Meanwhile, Michael's downhill slide continues. Two more prescriptions to pick up at the pharmacy tonight. At the moment, he's sleeping on a chair on the front porch (it's 5 pm). We were almost to the point where I couldn't handle his crap any longer and told him I wanted him to return to England. Not his choice. After discussing the situation with his friend Martin (a fellow Brit) I came to the conclusion that he probably wouldn't handle the travel well and wouldn't last long in the crappy English weather. So, he's going to stay here. I told him that if he took his anger and frustrations out on me and Andrea again, we're leaving for a hotel or my brother's house until he cools off. Neither one of us deserves being poorly treated. But it's until death do us part.......And what kind of example would I be setting for Andrea if I booted him back across the pond? Also, his eldest daughter is backtracking on her offer to take him in. According to her, once she thought about it, his quality of life would be poor - no central heat, confined to one or two rooms (small ones at that), no way to go anywhere, etc.......Frankly, I'm upset by her backtracking, but what can I do?

The saving grace this week is the presence of Michael's youngest daughter and her boyfriend. It's too bad they're leaving on Friday. I dread how he's going to be when they leave.

I returned to work after a week off and found it helped me. For a few hours I can try to forget about the stress from home. At least until the cell phone rings.....

I finished two quilts last week. Seems my company liked to sleep in until 11. I got up with Andrea, saw her off to school and sewed until the visitors got out of bed. A third quilt is on the frame now, but it likely won't be finished until next week. My bed's in the sewing room at the moment.

Sleep is definitely something I need right now. I tried sleeping with Michael - he's noisier than ever. Even with the ear plugs it was impossible to sleep with the man. Then I slept with Andrea a few nights after she returned from Lindner. I kept her awake, it seemed. I was on the sofa this morning at 3 am - wrapped up in a quilt and trying to sleep when Milly pounced on me. Eventually she settled into a spot on the quilt, but I got very little rest last night. I put one of the extra twin bed mattresses we have on the floor of the sewing room when I got home from work tonight. It's just for four more nights. I slept ok like that when Margaret was here last summer.

It's so hard to stay positive with all that's going on. I try. Skipped church on Sunday since I was so tired and sleep deprived - curled up on the sofa and didn't wake until 11! That is REALLY odd for me. Usually 9 am is late. So, I didn't get my usual dose of optimism through Christ Jesus on Sunday. I'll get it through self-study this week.

Please keep us all in your prayers. I do believe things will get better, hopefully soon!
Love ya,
Cathy