Growth

Michael has been gone for nearly a year. The last of the "milestone" dates is coming up on April 11. But this one seems easy.

Why?

Thanks to a lot of counseling, work, friendships, activities outside the home, I've managed to build a good foundation for the rest of my life. I've discovered it's time to move on, take care of myself with a firm grip on what happened in the past. I cannot change the past, but I sure have learned from it.

I'm strong.

Perhaps I always was strong. However, that strength was usually spent on others whilst ignoring myself.

I've also recognized it's OK to take time off from the every day stuff, to feel down every now and then is understandable. The important thing to remember is to be kind to myself. Cutting myself some slack.

So, I've learned a lot the past eleven months. I've allowed myself to mourn too. I don't mean to give anybody the impression that I don't miss Michael at all. I do. I miss the healthy, happy go lucky Michael. But, he disappeared years ago.

Actually, this has been quite a liberating experience. I'm still Mom,, but for the first time in 25 years, my days are not consumed with someone else first. Believe it or not, it took some getting over the guilt trip I placed on myself.

Excuse me for a while. I'm going to sew since that is what I want to do

Love ya,
Cathy