Monday, March 15, 2010

One Finish, One Start and A Bad Scare

Just in time for tonight's meeting at church, I finished the quilt-as-you-go project we learned last month. Very pleased with the final product, but I doubt if I tackle another any time soon. We're supposed to have a guest lecturer/teacher tonight who is going to teach us how to quilt free-motion feathers.

I also started piecing another top - using a strip tubing technique. This quilt is ultimately destined for the guest bedroom. It was a pleasure to find all the fabric I needed for this top already in my stash.

Poor Michael had a bad scare on Sunday. When he was in the shower, he couldn't breathe. Even with the oxygen, he was unable to get air - sort of like his windpipe seized up. He obviously panicked, couldn't call anybody for help. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and calmed himself down. I found him a few minutes later, sitting on the edge of our bed, obviously upset. He asked me to dry his hair for him, so I got the hairdryer out and did that for him. Whilst doing that, he began to cry. I held him for a long time. That's all I could do. His pulmonary fibrosis is obviously getting much worse and he's out of remission, but he won't go to the doctor's for it. I'm losing him and both of us know he doesn't have long.

Dear Andrea's feeling all this too - I took her to a therapy session on Friday. Neither one of us had seen this therapist before, so he asked questions about the family situation. I started to talk about Michael and the lung disease. Andrea sobbed as I talked. That got me crying. Try as I might, it's tough to keep from doing that. As much as Andrea thinks Michael's nasty and rude to her at times, she does love her step-dad. I'll need to keep this in mind from now on. Since her own dad doesn't have much to do with her, she views Michael as her "real" father. Until Friday, she hadn't verbalized that.

God's steering me toward my next path in this life and I firmly believe that becoming more active with church activities, including Financial Peace University, is going to help me in the long run. I feel a certain degree of guilt leaving Michael at home when I go to the quilting club or even Sunday School. But, I can't cut myself off now because otherwise once Michael passes away I won't have a support group or familiar activities to keep me involved. I think he understands that too since he doesn't ask me to stay home anytime. My dear friend at work told me last week that I can phone her anytime - day or night - if I'm facing an issue with Michael and need somebody. Good words from a good friend who faces her own hurdles with a disabled husband.

Sorry, this post is not very positive or uplifting.

We did go to the cinema and watched "Alice in Wonderland" in 3D on Saturday. Andrea's on- line buddy from east of Columbus drove two hours with her mom to go to the movies and out for a meal with us. Andrea met Ally through a chat room. Ally and her mom, Cindy, drove to Mason to meet us in person last year. During our chat, Cindy and I discovered that our daughters not only share a birthday - April 9, 1993, but we had our daughters in the same hospital! How strange is that - we were in the same maternity ward (didn't meet then though) and got together because of an on-line friendship 16 years later!

Didn't get around to building our Ikea purchases this weekend. Perhaps tomorrow.

Hugs,
Cathy

4 comments:

Moneik said...

Sending hugs and prayers your way. I know you are going through these challenges and they are making you stronger. We just have to take one day at a time and enjoy the time we have left with our loved ones.

BitnByAQuiltingBug said...

I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. Moneik said it just right. I hope it helps to know that so many of us are praying and think of you often. I hope you can feel all the "virtual" hugs sent your way!

Jennifer said...

Thoughts and prayers for you Cathy.

Linda and Piwacket said...

You have a gift of articulating your feelings, Cathy, and that helps create the community of support you need. I'm here for you day or night as well. You are an amazing witness of love, grace, humor and strength for Andrea. Love you lots and forever.