Friday, April 22, 2011


Ever since Michael passed away, I've felt numb and full of fuzz at times. Does that make sense? Sort of like this huge fog has drifted into my body and is just now slowly lifting from the landscape.

I thank God for my family and friends who have been so very supportive. My mom's phoned me almost every night since she returned home last Saturday.

One night, Andrea and her buddies went to another house for a sleepover which meant I was alone in the house for the first time. Around 9:30, I started to have a bit of a panic attack and texted Andrea.

"Are you OK?" I asked.
"Fine," she replied."Are you?"
"Not really. I'm a bit nervous,"
"Do you want me to come home?"

So I drove to her friend's house and picked up ALL the girls and they camped out in my living room for the night just because I didn't want to be alone just yet. Dear Andrea has been "mothering" me for over a week now. She's gone everywhere with me in the evenings and polished my scruffy nails twice.

I returned to work on Tuesday. Many people were surprised I returned that soon after Michael's death. But, honestly, keeping my head buried in files and doctor's reports is good medicine for me at the moment. It felt strange being here at first, but by Wednesday, it felt routine and comfortable again.

Monday night I went to my church's quilting group and was surrounded by my friends with love and comfort. I also learned how to paper piece log cabin blocks. Each of us are sewing three blocks (at least) for comfort quilts for our congregation members who need a bit of, well,comfort. The pastor's wife will determine who receives the six quilts we're working on. It was an idea I proposed after seeing how much joy Michael had when he received a comfort shawl from a church in Texas.

For the first time in two years, I'm going to my mother's house for the weekend. It will be nice to celebrate Easter with her and my step-dad's huge family. One of Andrea's friends offered to watch our pets for two days.

So, dear blog followers, this "Catquilter" is slowly getting back to ordinary things and life. Each day gets better.

Love ya,


Regina said...

Hugs to you. I am sure every day will be different but I am so glad to hear of the support you have all around you.

Jennifer said...

Ditto Regina's comments and wishing you a nice Easter with your family.

Anonymous said...

Glad you are finding your way. Prayers are still there for you and your family. Take care.

Bella said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. The first year after my husband's death I lived in a fog. I found being at work was the only thing that kept me fairly sane.