Michael had what we we call a "bad lung" day on Saturday. He used his oxygen nearly all day and had horrible coughing spells. Normally, he has the coughing attacks in the morning and they pass fairly quickly. Saturday was different. Then, at 2 in the morning, he couldn't breathe. He gasped for air and couldn't get any despite the oxygen flow. The sounds he made were something I'd never heard before and woke me from a deep sleep. I knew right away he was in trouble. Fortunately, he was able to cough and get the airway open. But the episode left both of us badly shaken. He went into the kitchen for a cup of tea - his "cure all" and I laid in bed shaking for a good hour. He said he had another episode like that last week, but neglected to tell me about it!
I suppose this only proves the doctor's point that Michael could leave this world at any time given the poor state of his lungs. That's why Dr. Dortin couldn't tell us how long he has. A sudden decline in his lung condition can kill him, even congestion from a cold or allergies.
Despite Michael's issues on Saturday, we still had friends over for dinner that night. I think it did him some good to laugh and relax a bit.
One of the books I read as part of my therapy talked about healthy spouses feeling resentful toward their ill/dying partners. I have to honestly admit I've been full of resentment the last few weeks. Saturday's episode may have burned off that feeling though.