Just when I think I'm over my grief and doing well emotionally, WHAM, something happens that sets me off.
Last night it was finding several bags of sausage rolls in the freezer.
I suppose a note of explanation would help, huh? Every year at Christmas, Michael would make cheese straws, scones and sausage rolls. The mess he'd leave in the kitchen is legendary. He'd bake enough for a small army. Usually just him and his best friend, Martin would eat the sausage rolls. Andrea and Danny would scarf up the cheese straws.
In an effort to make more room in the freezer last night I started tossing out things I knew were dated and came across these bags of sausage rolls tucked in the bottom shelf. He was well enough one day last December to bake. That evening he felt so poorly the Hospice nurse had to make an emergency visit to the house - he simply had pushed himself too hard. His appetite wasn't what it used to be either so many of the sausage rolls were put in the freezer for later consumption.
He never got to eat them.
Never even felt like eating them.
I felt so bad throwing the rolls into the trash. Big reminder that he's no longer with us.
But he used to be. The sausage rolls proved that.
It still doesn't seem real that he's been gone for nearly eight months.
Thanks for listening.