Sausage Rolls

Just when I think I'm over my grief and doing well emotionally, WHAM, something happens that sets me off.

Last night it was finding several bags of sausage rolls in the freezer.

I suppose a note of explanation would help, huh? Every year at Christmas, Michael would make cheese straws, scones and sausage rolls. The mess he'd leave in the kitchen is legendary. He'd bake enough for a small army. Usually just him and his best friend, Martin would eat the sausage rolls. Andrea and Danny would scarf up the cheese straws.

In an effort to make more room in the freezer last night I started tossing out things I knew were dated and came across these bags of sausage rolls tucked in the bottom shelf. He was well enough one day last December to bake. That evening he felt so poorly the Hospice nurse had to make an emergency visit to the house - he simply had pushed himself too hard. His appetite wasn't what it used to be either so many of the sausage rolls were put in the freezer for later consumption.

He never got to eat them.

Never even felt like eating them.

I felt so bad throwing the rolls into the trash. Big reminder that he's no longer with us.

But he used to be. The sausage rolls proved that.

It still doesn't seem real that he's been gone for nearly eight months.

Thanks for listening.
Love ya,
Cathy

Sales Report

Andrea talked me into going to Best Buy last night at 11. I have never joined the "crazies" shopping these sales immediately after Thanksgiving other than Joann's. OMG I could not get over the people waiting in line!!! We stood in line nearly two hours to get a deal on an XBox 360 the kids and I wanted for our family gift. In my warm bed at 3 am. AHHHHHHHHHHH! I thought, I'll just set the alarm for the regular get-up time and head on out to Joann's. Stupid me.....

I don't think I'd ever hit that alarm off so hard and fast......

But, I was at Joann's by 10:30 am and got some batting, a new ruler, some binding clips....nothing earth shattering. I plan on returning tomorrow with another 25 percent off coupon as their quilting fabric's on sale - door buster bargain.

Thanksgiving was lovely - loads of good food, family and friends and of course some football. All too soon, it was over.

I thought about Michael a lot yesterday. Nothing different or special about that - just the usual - feeling like there's a gap in my world that's never going to close completely. The odd thing is, I'm slowly filling that hole with other relationships (no, I'm not dating - yuch!) and activities. But, like I said, that hole will always be there.

Danny and Luka went back to Clifton this afternoon. Andrea's at PetSmart working, so it's just me and the pets again. Prime sewing time, so if you'll excuse me, I think I will get at it.

Love ya,
Cathy

Pre-Thanksgiving Chaos

Danny arrived home for the holiday and brought my grand-dog, Luka, with him. Luka's a beautiful white Alaskan Huskie, with bright blue eyes and a sort of dumb expression. Andrea says he looks like he's stoned all the time.

The kittens hide when Luka visits, which was a real problem last summer when Danny lived with us for a few months. Both of them lost weight since they were too frightened to get near their food dish. Andrea's French bulldog puppy, Emma, adores Luka and they played well together until last night. Andrea and I had to separate them several times when their "play" got too rough and we were afraid somebody was going to get hurt.

Danny went out with some friends last night and I have no clue what time he got home. All I know is that at 3:30 this morning I heard scratching noises on my bedroom door and a soft whine. Yep, Luka wanted out, so I opened the back door and he ran out - must have been busting. A few minutes later, I opened the door, no Luka. Have you ever gone outside at 3:30 am wearing nothing but a bathrobe, jammies and pink muffy slippers when the wind is blowing cold? Finally, Luka decided he had enough of the back yard and bolted back into the house. Took me a while, but I eventually got back to sleep. Six am came too soon today.

The kids and I are going to my brother's home for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I'm grateful for that. Andrea fusses that my sister-in-love cooks weird and she will miss her traditional Thanksgiving meal. I promised her if she was at all disappointed, I will make our usual holiday dinner later. My contributions to the meal are the pumpkin pies and the green bean casserole, so she'll have at least those items to tempt her.

Loads of things to be thankful for this year. Despite losing Michael, there are so many, many positive things all around us. And that, dear friends, is what I want to remember and celebrate tomorrow.

I wish you all health, happiness and togetherness every day, but especially tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Love ya,
Cathy

Fire and Fast Weekends

Yesterday morning, something in the kitchen smelled like plastic burning. Checked the fridge - nope, still OK. Looked around, nothing else was turned on. Chalk one up to my over-imaginative nose. A few minutes later, I turned around and saw flames shooting out of the laptop cord! I quickly unplugged the charger and blew the flames out. No harm other than the canisters sitting on the counter were a bit singed. The power cord's toast and was quickly tossed into the trash out in the garage. But, talk about scary! What would have happened had I not been at home? Thank the Lord that wasn't the case.

I must not have been in the mood to sew yesterday as I spent most of my day shopping. Managed to put quite a dent into the Christmas shopping. What hasn't been purchased yet will have to wait until next payday or until my son tells me what he'd like to have. Honestly, I don't have a clue for him.

After church, I dropped some can goods off at the local food drive and went to WalMart for a few things. Then, I got to sew, but the phone wouldn't stop ringing. Typical!

I pieced and quilted a tabletopper for my mother's birthday gift and got the binding ready for another quilt. Pleased to have gotten at least that much done.

So with all that done, the weekend's drawing to a close and it's back to the office tomorrow.

Hope you all have a pleasant week!
Love ya,
Cathy

Long Time-No Post

I know it's been months since my last post and for that I don't really have an excuse other than time slipping away. Has it really been seven months since Michael died? Yes. Has a lot happened? Yes. But where to start......

Andrea and I took that long-awaited trip to Florida at the end of August. It was great simply getting away for a few days. We visited Universal Studios - Harry Potter World, Magic Kingdom, Disney Studios and Epcot, capping off the week with a trip to Cocoa Beach. That brought back some memories as the first vacation I took with Michael was to Cocoa Beach eleven years ago.

At this time, Andrea's approaching the end of her first quarter at UC. She is struggling with the course load, so she has decided to take fewer classes until she knows what she can handle. She adores her job at Pet Smart and I swear she'd bring home every animal she sees.

Me? I'm still trying to create a life without my spouse and be happy. I have counseling sessions nearly every week, some weeks better than others. Tonight's session went well. I think they go better if I have specific topics in mind to talk about,as I did tonight. Lyenna has helped me through some pretty tough times over the past year. I'm grateful for her help.

My church family is becoming more important to me. I'm active with the quilters group, my Sunday school class and the new widows/widowers group our pastor created this fall.

I've made several purchases which have made life much easier. First, new gutters on the house with leaf guards. Now when it rains, it no longer creates a waterfall on the front porch, something which vexed Michael to no end. Secondly, a long-arm quilting machine - an Avante 18 from Handiquilter. I'm still getting used to it and constantly marvel at how fast I can quilt. Several of my friends have been over for a "test drive". Look out flimsies! And last but, not least, a new car - a 2012 VW Beetle - bright red and oh so fun to drive. I did need new gutters on the house and I did need a new car. But the Avante? Need had nothing to do with it! LOL Neither does my continuing bad habit of purchasing fabric. Somethings never change, dear friends.

That's it for the big purchases, but Christmas is coming. No doubt the holidays are going to be tough. But, as I told my friend Diane this morning, I don't have to make that bloody awful Christmas cake this year. Michael was the only one who ate the thing. We're going to use the money we normally spent on Michael to purchase things for families at our church who otherwise wouldn't have a decent Christmas for their children. He would have liked knowing that.

So, I hope to post more often to keep you all apprised of my quilting adventures, friends, family and my new life.

Love ya,
Cathy