Monday, September 13, 2010

Looking Back At The Weekend That Was

Here were the bright spots for my weekend:

-Attended the quilt show at the Sharonville Convention Center on Saturday. Bought some fat quarters and a new stencil
-Spent some time at Sew Ezy - they have a list of fantastic classes for this fall and I'd love to take one or two of them. Also found the variegated thread that I need for a quilt.
-Worshipped and prayed for two hours at church yesterday. My pals in Sunday School are becoming so important to me. What did I do before I started attending class?
-Shopped at Wal Mart with Andrea and her friend Jordan.
-Sewed in between all the events and Michael's "spats".

I had a conversation this morning with Michael's social worker from Hospice about Michael's hateful attitude and verbal abuse toward me and Andrea. I also wanted them to be aware of an event that happened yesterday. He took it upon himself to move an air compressor from one side of the garage to the other in the hopes of pumping up a tire on his truck. The physical work taxed his lungs to the point where he didn't think he was getting any oxygen. Then, he began to have a panic attack - worst one I've seen him have. He "rushed" into the house and screamed that he wasn't getting any air and grabbed his portable oxygen unit. I ran to get the morphine and "panic" pills. Between all that, he wet himself and it took 15 minutes to get his breathing under control. Then, he wept uncontrollably for a while. I don't know whether he cried from fear or his inability to do anything around the house. I believe the former, but he won't admit it. It's so difficult to see him like that. Also, difficult was the verbal abuse he spat at me and Andrea when we drove to dinner on Saturday night. I won't repeat what was said, but rest assured it was not a happy meal. Andrea and I talked over dinner, but anytime we asked him a question or tried to engage him in conversation he ignored us.

The social worker noted all these events and promised to report them to his nurse who is scheduled to visit on Wednesday. We may have to change his medication or increase what he's currently taking. She also agreed to have a pulmonary therapist visit him at home to go over the workings of the oxygen concentrator and portable machine especially the portable one since he struggles so when using it. I felt genuinely better after speaking with Lynn. She was appreciative of the call too since she thought Michael was "pulling the wool" over her eyes during their in-person conversations. He's no exactly upfront with the Hospice workers which I can understand. To him, it's admitting weaknesses. To me, it's asking for much needed help and he can't see that.

Andrea and I are taking a yoga class at the Community Center tonight. I have the Advil ready for myself. (LOL) Wednesday night is college admissions strategy lecture at the high school. Saturday, my college roommate and her husband are supposed to drive here and go to the riverboat dinner/cruise downtown. I'm not committing one way or the other about Michael. It's a minute by minute thing with him and he's already made it clear he didn't want to eat dinner on the boat - takes precious time away from viewing the scenery. Plus, he's hyper-sensitive about being seen in public in a wheelchair with the portable oxygen. So, it's a full week. I've scheduled some PTO time next week and am hopeful of getting a lot of quilting done in time for the craft fair.

Not all rainbows and kittens in Chez Howe. Just one kitten and she's doing her darnedest to keep us smiling.

Love ya,


Cheryl Willis said...

Sorry you are haveing a rough time. When dad was ill his goal was to not go into a nursing home. He kept such a good attitude up until the end. When it got to be to much for him, he requested hospice to let him stay at home. Attitude is such an important part of the dying process. So sorry that this time is so hard for him. Hopefully you have other memories that can take place of this pain so that is is not all he is remembered for. Prayers for a peaceful day. cw

Jennifer said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you all. May you have bright spots in the midst of the pain and god bless the hospice community - so glad you have someone there you can talk to.