Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Downhill Slide

Michael's health continues to deteriorate and along with it comes new challenges. He's now hooked up to a catheter because going to the toilet challenged his lungs/stamina so much. Morphine has also been increased. The combination of that drug and his impairments makes him sleep nearly the entire day. That's a blessing of sorts.

Hospice was at the house every day last week, including Sunday night when he was in a lot of pain. Thank goodness for 24/7 response from that organization. The aide is going to increase her visits beginning next week. She is a God-send!

Work ordinarily would be my refuge from the home front. But, even the atmosphere at the office appears toxic these days due to a firing of a long-term associate, upcoming changes which my manager tries to keep hidden from us, and a power-hungry auditor who wants to squash us all into submission. (LOL)

So, my counselor says to look for the bright spots. Believe me, I try, but they are hard to find like a "Where's Waldo" game. Never was good at that stinkin' search and find crap. Sometimes stuff has to smack me in the face before I recognize it.

One bright spot was Valentine's Day. My darling daughter made a lovely card and necklace for me. Andrea's love and support have truly been a blessing, boosting me up. She's seen me at my worst, too, like last week when I couldn't stop crying because I thought I hurt Sophie.

Sophie had crawled into the dishwasher when I wasn't looking. I slammed the rack back into the machine and was shocked to hear the kitten shriek and bolt from the dishwasher. Oh, she was ok, but I think it was the "last straw" in a horrible day for me. I cried as I held poor Sophie, her black fur sopped up some big tears. Rather confused by it all, Sophie is and was fine and hasn't crawled into the dishwasher since.

And then there's my sewing...do I ever relish my time in the sewing room. I finished piecing the wedding quilt and the mystery quilt for my church's quilting club. In addition, I made great progress with the blocks for "Buckeye Bouquet". I hope to get the wedding quilt on the frame by the weekend. I've also been asked to donate a lap quilt to the company's Fine Arts Fund week auction. Thank goodness for flimsies all ready! They do serve a purpose.

I've also gotten into the habit of reading a bit each night before going to sleep. It's also my prayer time. Honestly, I look forward to that spot of time every night.

Today I read this:

"The burden of suffering seems to be a tombstone hung around our necks. Yet, in reality it is simply the weight necessary to hold the diver down while he is searching for pearls." - Julius Richter

I'll keep looking for my "pearls".

Love ya,
Cathy

4 comments:

Jennifer said...

You have already found one of the pearls in your daughter. Continued prayers for your whole family.

Regina said...

Oh I so wish you were not struggling on all fronts. Glad you have support and some small islands of peace. ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

I lurk but I also pray for you and your family. Just felt I needed to say Hi.

Linda and Piwacket said...

I love you and miss you, Cathy. Whenever I'm in my sewing room I think of you, as well as several times throughout my day. You're all in my prayers.